iBury - Death by Steve Jobs

If I were to bury myself...that would be morbid...burying oneself alive. Okay better start. If I were able to choose what was buried with me it probably be in a fantastic way with which to screw with the data of the Archaeologists of the future.
First and foremost I would like to be buried in my van. Remove the rear seats so that my body can be placed, laying down, in the resulting flat bed. This would save my family a fortune in coffin fees (honestly a couple thousand bucks for a nice wooden box that is then buried, don't get it) and my eventual tomb can also be used as a hurst. Like McDonald's my grave will be a drivethru, or atleast an A&W drive-in.
I will not be dressed in a suit. Just my favorite shirt and jeans with skate shoes will do (just in case i'm wrong about the whole "no afterlife" thing I don't want to arrive naked or over dressed). Also included will be my favorite black hoodie (afterlife could be cold) and my Indianna Jones style felt fedora (every archaeologist should have one, only $39.99 at Eddie Bauer). I would also like to be given a purple cloak (to signify to future archaeologists that I am royalty).

Items included will be as follows:
My car keys (afterlife with a car: Thor and I are going cruising)
Pocket Knife (endlessly useful and prized possession)
Longboard (endlessly useful and prized possession)
Longsword (to get into Valhalla and for the eventual Ragnorak)
Shotgun (to keep me from rising as a zombie)
Garlic (to keep me from rising as a pussy sparkly skinned Twilight Vampire)
An autographed picture of Rick Mercer (to keep me from rising as a Conservative)
A sack of Gold coins (for bribery)
Fourty-Licks Rolling Stones CD #1 (in the cars CD Player, set on continuous play, rockin' out while dead)
A bell, shovel, and air tank with rebreather (incase I was only in a coma)

Bury van in Rose Bay Cemetary with human sacrifices thank you.
Headstone that simply reads "I Win!"
In lue of flowers please send money (suckers).